Abida Mian's Blog

An outlier that's living, learning and being myself…

Archive for February, 2016

How do you know when someone really loves you?

When my eldest brother called me up straight after hearing my mum had given me the news that my dad wasn’t going to make it, and that we would have to switch his life support machine off.

I was numb, in shock, then suddenly struck by an overwhelming feeling of emotion. I started sobbing, I tried to hold back with my mum, but felt at ease showing my vulnerability with my brother. I told him, “who was going to be there to guide me when I messed up, see me get married and have children? Dad won’t be there.” My brother calmly said, “I will always be here for my little sister whenever you need me, I will help pick up the pieces when you fall, give you away when you decide to marry, be a great uncle to your future kids.” Followed by, “please hurry Abi, I believe the only reason dad hasn’t gone yet is that he’s waiting to say goodbye to you, he loves you the most.” Those reassuring words at a particularly dark time in my life really meant a lot to me.

He offered to book my train ticket back to the hospital, when I got off the train, he was already there waiting for me. No words were said, he just grabbed me and gave me a hug.

He’s always been an amazing brother. Years ago, I bought a television. I stupidly tried to lift it up without bending properly, and did my back in. I called my brother, that very day he drove three hours to London with his girlfriend (now wife) who was a nurse. She attended to my bad back, and my brother set up my TV.

That’s when you know someone really does love you! I’m very lucky…
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