Abida Mian's Blog

An outlier that's living, learning and being myself…

Hakkasan Mayfair

It’s taken two and a half years of grieving to finally get used to wanting to be around people again. 

A good (platonic) friend, sort of a influencing mentor, gets me out for the first time in four years. I think he was genuinely shocked, but when I heard his driver’s dad passed away, I knew I had to pay my respects. 

Me: “Why do you keep wanting to see me, even after all this time?” Him: “Because you’re a respectable, genuine woman. I’m extremely fond of you.”

Me: “What’s it like to be unmarried and no kids?” Him: “Marriage doesn’t necessarily make you happy. I was married for three years, she divorced me and tried to claim £20million from me, in the end she got £5million, but we didn’t have children, she never paid for anything. She was the one having an affair. It’s not as if she was poor, she was a Goldman Sachs banker on a 6 figure salary. Abi, I would marry again, it could have been you all those years ago, but you made it clear that you didn’t want to.”

Me: “I’m not a gold-digger, the age difference is too significant. I’d be no better than your ex-wife, marrying for money. I want to marry for love, even if it means I have to struggle financially. All I can offer is my friendship, I’m still figuring out in my head who I want.”

Him: “Don’t get married in haste. On the surface you’re a complex person, but underneath it all, you’re very simple to understand. You’re bored of life. No one can help you find happiness, that’s a journey you will need to make on your own.”

Me: “I know clearly what I want. Marriage and children. That’s what life is all about. I have limited time on my side, I don’t intend on wasting it.”

Him: “You’ll make a great mother, but don’t rush. Being in an unhappy marriage with children is worse than being single. Trust me”

Deep conversation over amazing food. I’m lucky to have such a good friend looking out for me, and helps put my life into perspective…

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