Abida Mian's Blog

An outlier that's living, learning and being myself…

Quora Question: How do I visit my girlfriend in long distance relationship if her parents are against it?We’ve known each other for ages and since then we’ve been talking every day, we get along so well, it breaks our heart not to see eachother that often. I’ve first met her in March in Easter vacations as I saved up enough for the plane.

Him: Thing is, she lives in another country and her parents don’t know english, and they say this relationship is a mistake doing everything they can to make our lives a living hell. As she’s still 17, we’d have to wait till next April although I’d really love if I could make her a suprise this summer, I just don’t know what they might do. They even got her a job for the whole summer so she won’t have that much free time..Help would be much appreciated!

(I’m 19, we’ve been dating for little over 8 months now, we skype, call, text everyday)

My answer:

“I know in my heart that I’ll never find someone as perfect as her, and she knows it too, everything would be perfect without them”

I’m not going to put a dampener on your relationship. Deep down, I’m a sucker for romance.

Don’t be too hard on her parents. I know it’s incredibly frustrating, but like you said, they don’t speak English, and as far as they’re concerned you’re a stranger living in a different country. That’s their daughter. They’re just being protective parents. Oh s***, just realised I’m getting old talking like this 🙂

Seriously though, long distance is a challenge, particularly at your age. However, if you really do think she’s the best thing that’s happened to you, then be smart. Don’t antagonise her parents. Play the long game. Over time, they may come to realise that you’re serious. You can’t wish for her parents to not be a part of her life, that is unlikely to happen, and is not something someone who loves her would want.

There’s not much you can do until she’s independent, living her own life. In the meantime, just keep the momentum going, continue chatting everyday. Even if her parents got her a job, still go and see her. I’m sure she could spare sometime, however short that is. When you’re crazy about someone, every second with them counts.

Thanks for the A2A.

Good luck,



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